What's in a name?

I got my business cards in today.  

Exhibit A:  The English Side

Exhibit B:  The Dari Translated Side

So I'm all excited to have my fancy business cards,  so I bring it over to a Afghan friend of mine.  

"Here's my business card.  You get the first one.  How's it look?"  I say 

He takes it.  Uncontrollable laughter.  He writes two small dots on the end of my name (you can see it there in black).   Then he shows it to a couple other afghans.  Uncontrollable laughter. 

I spend five minutes persuading this man to tell me what my name in Dari means.  I know it's bad. 

My friend won't tell me.  "it's a bad word.  i can't say it"

He slowly starts typing on his computer.    

D.  I.  C.  K. 

No way. 

I take my business card back to my buddy Dr. Sami for confirmation and ask him to write down what my business card says. 

He protectively wraps his hand around a scrap piece of paper.   A few seconds of writing. 

The unveiling....scraggly chicken scratch handwriting...

Penis.    

My full name translated in Dari means penis.  So that's pretty fantastic. 

The original Afghan friend teases me about it all afternoon,  until I'm forced to say it.  My hands are tied.  I have no choice. 

"Oh Dildar....let me tell you something about your name...."

what a good day. 

I'm back

Thailand was,  as always,  awesome.   Quick summary cause this blog isn't about vacations really - buckets, sand, sun,  food,  kayaks,  scuba joel,  cliffs, sharks,  treehouses,  sun,  good times.

Off to thailand for 10 days

Stay tuned.

That's a strong message for an air freshener

Power is Poison? 

Take it easy air freshener.  Stop handing down life lessons from your ivory tower.  Keep in mind your main purpose in life is to make our bathrooms smell less poopy.

No Matter What Time Zone You're In, It's Probably My Birthday

Let me start by saying I think this country is trying to kill us all.  Two more of my friends were cut down in their prime with the Afghan Stomach.  And Karima's been vomiting all day.   But like an adorable vomiting.  She's a pretty lady.

So anyway,  my bday party team was cut in numbers,  but I think the members of the team that made it out did an excellent job of celebrating to the fullest extent possible.

We went out to a british pub called Gandamacks.  Here we are....

One of my friends was even kind enough to bestow upon me a Afghan hat and scarf pictured below.

The Pakol originated in a region of Afghanistan called Nuristan.  The Pakol was worn by the Afghan Mujahideen who fought against the Soviet Invasion and today they are worn by the United Front Alliance.

I just googled that.  Last night I referred to it as "haaaat".

Although excellent times were had by all,  the evening was pretty uneventful.  We did however meet a delightful young american fellow.  He had a thick texan accent and refused to believe that Karima was from Canada and railed on for quite some time about illegal immigration.

This wound Karima up too nearly, but not quite, "oh no you didn't" levels.

THEN he said the word wetback.  I didn't even know that was a real word.  I figured that was just a urban myth spread by liberal parents around the country.

THEN,  he sorta called her a wetback.

THEN he tried to apologize by grabbing her face.  Don't ever do that to Karima.

After a severe tongue lashing,  he retreated into the shadows never to be heard from again.

Today I heard there was a giant fight at Gandamack,  and someone got smashed over the head with a beer bottle and six americans went to jail.  There's no doubt in my mind that our buddy was the recipient of that head smashing.  Probably because he used a highly offensive racial slur towards the wrong racially unapplicable person.

Or Karima snuck back to the bar while after I went to sleep.

Either way,  my birthday was awesome and thanks to all.

On a completely unrelated note,  have a look at this...

It's a mini Eiffel Tower in the middle of Kabul.  That's barely weird at all.

And now look at this

There's no story behind this one,  I just think it's a pretty rad picture.

Good night.