Off to thailand for 10 days

Stay tuned.

That's a strong message for an air freshener

Power is Poison? 

Take it easy air freshener.  Stop handing down life lessons from your ivory tower.  Keep in mind your main purpose in life is to make our bathrooms smell less poopy.

No Matter What Time Zone You're In, It's Probably My Birthday

Let me start by saying I think this country is trying to kill us all.  Two more of my friends were cut down in their prime with the Afghan Stomach.  And Karima's been vomiting all day.   But like an adorable vomiting.  She's a pretty lady.

So anyway,  my bday party team was cut in numbers,  but I think the members of the team that made it out did an excellent job of celebrating to the fullest extent possible.

We went out to a british pub called Gandamacks.  Here we are....

One of my friends was even kind enough to bestow upon me a Afghan hat and scarf pictured below.

The Pakol originated in a region of Afghanistan called Nuristan.  The Pakol was worn by the Afghan Mujahideen who fought against the Soviet Invasion and today they are worn by the United Front Alliance.

I just googled that.  Last night I referred to it as "haaaat".

Although excellent times were had by all,  the evening was pretty uneventful.  We did however meet a delightful young american fellow.  He had a thick texan accent and refused to believe that Karima was from Canada and railed on for quite some time about illegal immigration.

This wound Karima up too nearly, but not quite, "oh no you didn't" levels.

THEN he said the word wetback.  I didn't even know that was a real word.  I figured that was just a urban myth spread by liberal parents around the country.

THEN,  he sorta called her a wetback.

THEN he tried to apologize by grabbing her face.  Don't ever do that to Karima.

After a severe tongue lashing,  he retreated into the shadows never to be heard from again.

Today I heard there was a giant fight at Gandamack,  and someone got smashed over the head with a beer bottle and six americans went to jail.  There's no doubt in my mind that our buddy was the recipient of that head smashing.  Probably because he used a highly offensive racial slur towards the wrong racially unapplicable person.

Or Karima snuck back to the bar while after I went to sleep.

Either way,  my birthday was awesome and thanks to all.

On a completely unrelated note,  have a look at this...

It's a mini Eiffel Tower in the middle of Kabul.  That's barely weird at all.

And now look at this

There's no story behind this one,  I just think it's a pretty rad picture.

Good night.

Halloween In Kabul

Halloween in Kabul turned out to be a rager.  We went with a group of about 15 people to a giant party at Relax Guesthouses.  The costumes actually turned out to be pretty amazing in a country where the costume stores are limited.  I saw the best Beetlejuice I have ever seen,  and a pretty solid Edward Scissorhands.

Our costumes were admittedly very hastily thrown together.

Karima stole my Kabul Golf Club hat and polo (and a pair of argyle socks) and went as....I guess a golfer.

I wrote book on my face.  Facebook.  Ha!  Get it?  Kill me.

The advantages to being on of few americans at a party.  No one knows I stole my costume from Jim in the Office halloween episode.

The disadvantages - I went mildly insane after dozens of explanations,  blanks stares and questions like

"Why do you have 'Bo' and 'Ok' written on your face?"

Our security team was kind to us last night,  giving us an additional hour of curfew.  The high altitude warm heinekens were unkind,  striking us down with morning hangovers.

I went for take out chinese today,  one of the best meals I have had yet.  So good.  So very good.

Between that,  a little TV watching and a solid 3 hour nap,  I felt like my weekend was a success.

More pictures to follow,  I have to track them down from a friend.

Meet the Team

This picture (minus Karima) encompasses the entirety of Roshan's Marketing Communication team. 

From left to right you have Mohammed Farid Qayyumi,  Surat Khan and Dr.  Abdul Sami Raheemazay. 

Man I love these guys.   

Farid is in charge of finance and enjoys Thursday afternoons when he regularly breaks out a fancy snack of some kind and shares with everyone.  The first week Karima and I showed up he brought out a bottle of  "The Pepsi Mountain Dew" and made sure everyone got a glass to celebrate the end of the week. 

Surat Khan doesn't speak very much english,  but we communicate through the international language of hugs.  He's probably one of the friendliest people I have ever met.  You have to understand a little bit of Afghan culture, which is something I have started to figure out.  One aspect of this culture is that when you come to work in the morning,  you start the day by greeting everyone in your department with handshakes and asking how they are doing,  how their families are,  etc.  If you go to another department to talk to someone,  before any work can be done you have to also greet everyone in the same manner.  One day a few weeks back,  on a normal day I showed up at work,  went to shake Surat Khans hand and he gravely got out of his seat,  opened his arms and gave me a giant bear hug.  "It's the Pashtun way" he said.    

"Karima,  am I supposed to hug this guy every day now?"

"I have no idea"

So I play it safe and dole out the hugs on a daily basis.  We're buddies.

A fun fact about Surat Khan.  He's got the biggest hands I've ever seen on a human.  Look at his hand on my shoulder,  it looks like a bear is trying to break my neck.  

Dr. Sami is an actual doctor,  but it turns out he can make more money working for Roshan,  so now he is a manager in the marketing department.  He'll likely inherit the department after the company goes entirely to Afghans.   He's super quiet,  shy,  incredibly smart and funny as shit.  At any given time he's probably got 50 things that he's remembering to do.  While Karima and I have notebooks filled with checklists,  and to do items,  I've never seen Sami actually write anything down.  And I've never seen him forget anything either.  He has a notebook,  but mostly uses it as a coaster for coffee mugs.   He was really quiet at first,  but once he warmed up to us,  we started getting hints of his very sarcastic and dry sense of humour.  It started with whisperings of "Did Sami just say that?" between Karima and I,  but now he's got me cracking up on a daily basis.  

Here's the team with Karima.  Of course as a woman she doesn't get the hugs. 

Buzkashi

Do you know what the Afghan national sport is?   I didn't till a few weeks ago.  I don't really have anything to report on it,  I haven't seen it....I just think you should know it exists.

I think essentially it's like polo except instead of using a ball......they use a goat carcass.

That's all I have to say about that.  I'll report back when I get to a match.

Afghan Stomach

So I got struck down with some food poisoning the past couple days.  Apparently everyone gets it eventually when they come to work here.  It's euphemistically referred to as "Afghan Stomach" and it's been explained to me that it's my stomach "adjusting".

However,  in my case - and based on some intense physical evidence,  my stomach decided against "adjusting" and instead tried to pack up my intestines and leave me for good.

I don't have to get into the particulars of my food poisoning I suppose,  most people have been there.  There was some curling up wishing for death of course,  some moaning,  and several days of unpleasantness.    I'm now at about 80% I think,  which just means general uneasiness and dislike of being out of range of a bathroom.  But I can cope with that.

The real lasting damage however is nausea.  Especially when I think about the food in the dining hall.   There's nothing wrong with that food at all,  but since I can't pinpoint the source of my afghan stomach everything is suspect.  And when I see the suspects,  I feel a little sick to my stomach.

So today,  I inexplicably got a severe craving for a tuna fish sandwich.  Something safe,  that I can make on my own.   Karima and I went grocery shopping,  got all the necessities and I looked forward to it all day.

Around 7:00pm,  just when I was really getting excited about a sandwich,  Karima decided to take a nap.  I gave her an hour,  and then in a panic of hunger over not eating anything substantial in 3 days,  went and pulled her out of bed to make sandwiches with me.

Now,  the only problem with making food in my room, is that there is no kitchen.   I know a couple guys with kitchens,  but you have to be a real scumbag to come into someone's living space,  make tuna and leave.  That stuff smells.

So that leaves my bathroom sink.

Let me tell you something.  Nothing will chill you to the bone more than when you're salivating,  hunched over,  squeezing,  and you accidentally get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror - nearly 32 years old,  manically excited about  bathroom sink tuna.  

I may have taken a few wrong turns in life.

But on the other hand....

Man,  I loved that sandwich.


P.S. I'd like to give a special shout out to one Brian Mcgurn.   Before I left he not only let me crash in his spare bedroom for two weeks,  he hardly complained at all when I left tuna fish dishes in his sink.  A better friend is hard to come by.