Halloween In Kabul

Halloween in Kabul turned out to be a rager.  We went with a group of about 15 people to a giant party at Relax Guesthouses.  The costumes actually turned out to be pretty amazing in a country where the costume stores are limited.  I saw the best Beetlejuice I have ever seen,  and a pretty solid Edward Scissorhands.

Our costumes were admittedly very hastily thrown together.

Karima stole my Kabul Golf Club hat and polo (and a pair of argyle socks) and went as....I guess a golfer.

I wrote book on my face.  Facebook.  Ha!  Get it?  Kill me.

The advantages to being on of few americans at a party.  No one knows I stole my costume from Jim in the Office halloween episode.

The disadvantages - I went mildly insane after dozens of explanations,  blanks stares and questions like

"Why do you have 'Bo' and 'Ok' written on your face?"

Our security team was kind to us last night,  giving us an additional hour of curfew.  The high altitude warm heinekens were unkind,  striking us down with morning hangovers.

I went for take out chinese today,  one of the best meals I have had yet.  So good.  So very good.

Between that,  a little TV watching and a solid 3 hour nap,  I felt like my weekend was a success.

More pictures to follow,  I have to track them down from a friend.

Meet the Team

This picture (minus Karima) encompasses the entirety of Roshan's Marketing Communication team. 

From left to right you have Mohammed Farid Qayyumi,  Surat Khan and Dr.  Abdul Sami Raheemazay. 

Man I love these guys.   

Farid is in charge of finance and enjoys Thursday afternoons when he regularly breaks out a fancy snack of some kind and shares with everyone.  The first week Karima and I showed up he brought out a bottle of  "The Pepsi Mountain Dew" and made sure everyone got a glass to celebrate the end of the week. 

Surat Khan doesn't speak very much english,  but we communicate through the international language of hugs.  He's probably one of the friendliest people I have ever met.  You have to understand a little bit of Afghan culture, which is something I have started to figure out.  One aspect of this culture is that when you come to work in the morning,  you start the day by greeting everyone in your department with handshakes and asking how they are doing,  how their families are,  etc.  If you go to another department to talk to someone,  before any work can be done you have to also greet everyone in the same manner.  One day a few weeks back,  on a normal day I showed up at work,  went to shake Surat Khans hand and he gravely got out of his seat,  opened his arms and gave me a giant bear hug.  "It's the Pashtun way" he said.    

"Karima,  am I supposed to hug this guy every day now?"

"I have no idea"

So I play it safe and dole out the hugs on a daily basis.  We're buddies.

A fun fact about Surat Khan.  He's got the biggest hands I've ever seen on a human.  Look at his hand on my shoulder,  it looks like a bear is trying to break my neck.  

Dr. Sami is an actual doctor,  but it turns out he can make more money working for Roshan,  so now he is a manager in the marketing department.  He'll likely inherit the department after the company goes entirely to Afghans.   He's super quiet,  shy,  incredibly smart and funny as shit.  At any given time he's probably got 50 things that he's remembering to do.  While Karima and I have notebooks filled with checklists,  and to do items,  I've never seen Sami actually write anything down.  And I've never seen him forget anything either.  He has a notebook,  but mostly uses it as a coaster for coffee mugs.   He was really quiet at first,  but once he warmed up to us,  we started getting hints of his very sarcastic and dry sense of humour.  It started with whisperings of "Did Sami just say that?" between Karima and I,  but now he's got me cracking up on a daily basis.  

Here's the team with Karima.  Of course as a woman she doesn't get the hugs. 

Buzkashi

Do you know what the Afghan national sport is?   I didn't till a few weeks ago.  I don't really have anything to report on it,  I haven't seen it....I just think you should know it exists.

I think essentially it's like polo except instead of using a ball......they use a goat carcass.

That's all I have to say about that.  I'll report back when I get to a match.

Afghan Stomach

So I got struck down with some food poisoning the past couple days.  Apparently everyone gets it eventually when they come to work here.  It's euphemistically referred to as "Afghan Stomach" and it's been explained to me that it's my stomach "adjusting".

However,  in my case - and based on some intense physical evidence,  my stomach decided against "adjusting" and instead tried to pack up my intestines and leave me for good.

I don't have to get into the particulars of my food poisoning I suppose,  most people have been there.  There was some curling up wishing for death of course,  some moaning,  and several days of unpleasantness.    I'm now at about 80% I think,  which just means general uneasiness and dislike of being out of range of a bathroom.  But I can cope with that.

The real lasting damage however is nausea.  Especially when I think about the food in the dining hall.   There's nothing wrong with that food at all,  but since I can't pinpoint the source of my afghan stomach everything is suspect.  And when I see the suspects,  I feel a little sick to my stomach.

So today,  I inexplicably got a severe craving for a tuna fish sandwich.  Something safe,  that I can make on my own.   Karima and I went grocery shopping,  got all the necessities and I looked forward to it all day.

Around 7:00pm,  just when I was really getting excited about a sandwich,  Karima decided to take a nap.  I gave her an hour,  and then in a panic of hunger over not eating anything substantial in 3 days,  went and pulled her out of bed to make sandwiches with me.

Now,  the only problem with making food in my room, is that there is no kitchen.   I know a couple guys with kitchens,  but you have to be a real scumbag to come into someone's living space,  make tuna and leave.  That stuff smells.

So that leaves my bathroom sink.

Let me tell you something.  Nothing will chill you to the bone more than when you're salivating,  hunched over,  squeezing,  and you accidentally get a glimpse of yourself in the mirror - nearly 32 years old,  manically excited about  bathroom sink tuna.  

I may have taken a few wrong turns in life.

But on the other hand....

Man,  I loved that sandwich.


P.S. I'd like to give a special shout out to one Brian Mcgurn.   Before I left he not only let me crash in his spare bedroom for two weeks,  he hardly complained at all when I left tuna fish dishes in his sink.  A better friend is hard to come by.

Hmmm

I can almost hear the the thought process before he hit send. 

"I will be looking forward to eating you?  No,  does not feel right.  Reading!  This is right.  Whew...I am almost put mouth on foot with that one"

Traffic Jam

Hey....where are you guys off to so fast?

Oh.


These characters caused a giant traffic jam for us this morning.    If no other cars existed in the world,  the trip from the compound to work would take 10 minutes.   Even though we ride in these sweet Toyota vans from the 70's.

The normal trip to work takes about 30 minutes due to regular traffic.  When these marines roll around town in their giant whatever those things are,  everyone just stops driving.   Everyone is scared of suicide bombers attacking,  so they take a possum playing dead approach.   If I stop my car here,  no one will notice me.

Today the trip took about an hour.  Luckily I was in one of the vans with working AC.

P.S.  Don't take pictures of the Army guys.  It enrages them.

A Smell to End All Smells

Holy crap.  I got smacked in the face today by B.O. the likes of which I have never encountered before.

The people of Afghanistan have a lot on their minds,  and a lot of problems.....therefore showers are not always a high priority.  I get that.  But today was not your normal unshowered man smell.  This was something extraordinary.

I was sitting in this hallway waiting for a meeting when this innocuous looking fellow strolled by me.  Nothing happened for 2 seconds,  then like a dog senses fear I started to realize something was wrong.....and then 3 seconds later I was struck down.   This man's BO has a five second trail, following him like a rotten ghost wherever he goes.

It wasn't a normal smell.  I've smelled horrible things before.  This scent nose raped me.  The smell traveled up my nose,  into my head,  and strangled the part of my brain that is responsible for happiness.

I haven't been right since.  I want to brush my teeth.  I want to set my clothes on fire.  I need to Q tip my sinuses.

A few minutes later Karima came and sat down next to me.   And then the same man walked by.

I waited 3 seconds and said "Karima, take a deep breath...."